Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
