there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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