Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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