sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
