Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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