Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize