Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
