Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize