We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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