Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
