Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
40s are totally the cure
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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