this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
