Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
