he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize