Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
