Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize