Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
