I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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