jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
