well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
