Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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