In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize