those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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