You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
