how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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