So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
