did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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