in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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