why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
