no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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