He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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