i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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