So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
