Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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