Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
