I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So vagazzling was a success
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
