Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
