u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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