my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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