no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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