White coat. Heels.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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