I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
