First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
