ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize