Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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