Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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