At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
