It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
