Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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