After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
