the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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