Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
