Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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