Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
