the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
