you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Houston, we have a squirter
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
