i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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