So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
